How To Fellowship With The Holy Spirit Like a Friend


After I got filled with the Holy Spirit in 2004 I was exuberant. I spent many hours alone in my bedroom in worship and fellowship with the Holy Spirit. He was my new best friend and I’d frequently stay up late and get up early just to spend time with him.

To fellowship with the Holy Spirit is to be his friend. It’s a relationship and the key to any relationship is communicating. “To the degree, you talk to the Spirit you walk in the Spirit.” It’s a conversation. We yield to him and he fills us with wonderful love, joy, peace, and dunamis power.

The Holy Spirit wants to empower us in our daily lives. What a privilege it is to have the Spirit of the Living God on the inside of us. Jesus told the 12 apostles that it was better for them if he were to return to the Father because the Helper would then come. The Holy Spirit helps us. He comforts us. He loves to fill us up with Godly pleasure but he desires a yielded vessel. A heart that’s set on obedience. He is longing for us to recognize his presence and invite him into our lives.

What Does It Mean To Fellowship With The Holy Spirit?

Paul prayed in 2 Corinthians 13:14 that the love of God and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit would be with them all. The greek word for fellowship in this verse is koinōnia which translates to:

  1. Partnership
  2. Joint Participation
  3. Communion & Community
  4. Communication
  5. Intimate Fellowship

Who is the Holy Spirit?

I don’t think that fellowshipping with the Holy Spirit is as complicated as we make it out to be. It’s simple. He lives on the inside of our spirit man. He’s a person. He’s real. He has a personality. We just have to talk to him. He knows what we are thinking anyway (Psalm 139:2).

The Holy Spirit is God. He’s not like the force in Star Wars. He’s an actual person. The 3rd person of the Trinity to be exact. He is in partnership with the Father and the Son and he is equal with them both (and he wants to partner with us). They are 3 in 1 and we worship the Holy Spirit just like we worship the Father and Jesus.

The Holy Spirit doesn’t speak on his own authority; he speaks what he hears, yet he is equal with the rest of the Godhead. They work in perfect unity. They love each other perfectly. He is the 3rd person of the trinity because of where he’s located in relationship to Jesus and the Father—he is not lesser. He’s on the earth and in believers and the Father and the Son are in heaven.

John 14:15-17 If you love me, you will keep my commandments. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Helper, to be with you forever, even the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees him nor knows him. You know him, for he dwells with you and will be in you.
When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth, for he will not speak on his own authority, but whatever he hears he will speak, and he will declare to you the things that are to come. John 16:3 ESV

Spend Time With Him

To grow in any relationship we have to spend quality time with the other person. We get to know the Holy Spirit by being intentional in spending time with him. We need to slow down during our day and acknowledge his presence on the inside of us. We can talk to him anytime and anywhere. He’s the one friend that is with us wherever we go. He’s closer than a brother.

He wants to be involved in our everyday lives. He cares about the choices and the decisions we make throughout the day and we might be surprised how much insight and revelation he will give us in daily life—if we’d just acknowledge his presence.

He frequently speaks through the still small voice. It’s not usually in the spectacular that we hear his voice; though once in a while it is. I made the mistake of spending many years chasing the spectacular. While I think it’s a wonderful thing to pursue power encounters with God—I think it’s equally important to encounter him in the everyday mundaneness of life as well.

Then He said, “Go out, and stand on the mountain before the Lord.” And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind tore into the mountains and broke the rocks in pieces before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake; and after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a still small voice. 1 King 19:11-12 NKJV

Do Not Grieve The Holy Spirit

The Holy Spirit can be hurt by our speech, our actions, and our attitude. He is a friend that sticks closer than a brother and he’s with us wherever we go. He lives in our spirit-man. We can’t hide from him—he even knows our innermost thoughts. He knows our coming and our going before we even do (Psalm 139:2).

And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Ephesians 4:30 ESV

Katherine Kuhlman is quoted as saying that the greatest sin committed against the Holy Spirit is when we ignore him. I think this is worth thinking about. How many times have we ignored the Holy Spirit throughout our lives? There have definitely been times in my walk with the Lord when I heard the voice of the Spirit tell me to say or do something but I let fear prevent me from stepping out in obedience.

I believe the Holy Spirit will speak clearly to any believer who is attentive to his voice. We have to pay attention and value our relationship with him and we also have to act on what he says. There really are times where he stops speaking. Either he stops speaking or our spiritual eyes and ears get so clogged from sin that we can’t hear him. One or the another. I’m not sure which one it is but maybe it’s a bit of both.

It’s important to be obedient to what Jesus taught us in Scripture and it’s equally important to be obedient to the promptings of the Holy Spirit. He never speaks on his own authority. He only speaks what he hears. Everything he says is 100% in line with the written Word of God. He never contradicts the Father or Jesus as revealed in scripture.

What if many of us don’t hear him in our daily lives because if we were to hear him we wouldn’t obey? I like to think and believe I’d obey anything at the sound of his voice. I mean I’m a radical Christian right? But would I obey him? I hope so but I can really only leave that for God to know.

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I believe there is a great price to walk in the anointing and the power of the Holy Spirit. It costs everything. We must lay down our lives, die to ourselves, take up our cross and follow after him. How many of us do this every day? I’m not casting judgment if you don’t—I’m asking you, the reader, but I’m also asking myself. God requires obedience and not sacrifice or religious acts.

We want to know how to fellowship with the Holy Spirit and we want to know his voice but how many of us are ready to obey what we hear? I’d encourage you to count the cost. To the believers who are asking for a big anointing, to hear Holy Spirit’s voice so loud and clear—the glory encounters—I’m 100% on board with asking for these things—but have we counted the cost? There is a price to be paid.

Look at the story of Jonah. God gave him a word to give to the Ninevites but he didn’t agree with it. He was disobedient and he ran away and a whale swallowed him up until he repented and obeyed. God forced him to obey. I believe things like this still happen. Especially to those of us who are pressing into God in intense ways with prayer, fasting, and surrendering everything—asking for these encounters. Praying “God have your way” is very wise but also very dangerous to ourselves.

I believe there is a level in God where the anointing and the glory is so strong that disobedience is no longer an option. Look at Ananias and Sapphira in Acts 5. They lied to the Holy Spirit and they dropped dead. God struck them dead! Do we really want God to come that close? I sure do. If you answer yes—are you ready for the weight of responsibility? Are you ready to count the cost and say yes?

The Holy Spirit is grieved by our sin. He loves us but he’s extremely jealous for us. He wants to be our intimate friend but at the same time, he is an all-consuming fire. He will burn up every work that is not rooted in him.

For love is as strong as death, its jealousy as enduring as the grave. Love flashes like fire, the brightest kind of flame. Song of Solomon 8:6 ESV

Prayer Of Repentance For Grieving the Holy Spirit

Holy Spirit, I thank you for your living presence in me. You love me with an all-consuming love. Please forgive me for ignoring you. Forgive me for setting my eyes on other things. Forgive me for giving in to the lusts of the flesh and the pride of life. Holy Spirit, will you be my everything? Will you baptize me with your all-consuming fire and burn up everything in my heart that hinders me from loving you and obeying you?

Holy Spirit I give you the eyes of my heart. Forgive me for looking upon worthless things. I ask that you would forgive me for grieving you in any other way. Bring to my mind the things I do that grieve you. Grant me repentance. I invite you into my internal conversation—renew my thought life. I ask that you would show me when I’m about to do something that hurts you. Correct my thinking. Align my mind and my heart with the Word of God. Help me to hide your word in my heart that I would not sin against you. Open my ears so I can hear what the Spirit is saying.

Another Holy Spirit prayer by Corey Russell:

Spend Time Reading The Word And Asking Him To Fill You

We encounter the presence of the Holy Spirit as we read the word. We pray for the spirit of wisdom and revelation. As we read God’s word we get a fresh revelation of who he is and who we are. The Holy Spirit will speak to us if we make it a point to dialogue with him as we read the scripture.

There is much he will tell us when we include him in our thoughts and in our internal dialogue as we read the Word of God. It’s important to have regular times of chewing on and meditating on the Word. We need to get the Word injected into us on a regular basis. We can do this by:

  1. Reading the Bible Regularly and talking to Holy Spirit while we read.
  2. Listening to an audio Bible and dialoguing with Holy Spirit as we listen
  3. Listening to sermons or teachings and ask the Holy Spirit to enlighten our heart and impart grace to hear what he is trying to say through the message
  4. Reading books that are based on the Word of God and talking to Holy Spirit.
  5. Meditating on the Word

That’s it for now but I will probably update this every so often with additional resources.

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3 thoughts on “How To Fellowship With The Holy Spirit Like a Friend

  1. I have just stumbled across your blog when searching for something however the ‘Contact’ option is not functional. We have been playing iHOP 24/7 for a number of months after the Lord led my husband to Mike Bickle’s ministry. Looking to connect.

  2. Thank you so much Andrew for this blog, it has taught and confirmed things I needed to know. Thank you for sharing your knowledge, I deeply appreciate. May God increase you in wisdom and knowledge. Asante.

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